Friday, May 11, 2012

For my Father : Another Soldier in the War on Cancer

I spent all night thinking about the morning
Sifting through memories like the sands of time
Like I really believed in Happily Ever After
Like I really wasn’t all alone
Like I was built of nothing but Courage & Stout
But when the sun came up & the snow came down
Preacher said some words like he knew you as long as I had
Then they lowered you into that not quite so empty ground
The last thing I remembered was I saw you smiling
So I turned all that sorrow into a black crow
Set it free at the base of pine tree
I still remember the smell of tobacco stalks
I still remember those front porch talks
Sleeping in your lap while the tractor wound down
I always called you Pop instead of Father but
You never raised your hand in violence
You were decent man in a World gone to Hell
You taught us how to stand like men, how to think for ourselves
& How not to be a manly husband cause you never got that right
Momma always ran this house & I always ran momma
So I guess in a way you always looked at me as the man of the house
If it was broke I learned how to fix it, from a pocket watch to a VCR
The only thing I was missing was a hot-rod car but
We had an old Chevy that ran like mule from dusk till dawn
We all our pulled our weight
I never saw you cry till I nearly died that day on that road
Then for the first time I saw my Pop’s soul
His voice was cracked & his hands were shaking
No one could say if I was gonna make it
So many breaks & so many fractures
But we all came through it & I taught myself once again how to walk
I rewalked every inch of that Oak Forest
Coming to stop at Serenity Falls
It was all of one foot tall but it was a beautiful place to hide away
Let the record state that you saved my hide more than once or twice
Without you I’d have never learned when not to fight
How to settle things down & true wrong from right
You told me every man is his own mountain
& whether you move it or not you leave to your own conscience
But then that day came when I realized I could move mine
So I sit down with a pen & became a poet
For all the memories that no one else can share
For all the beers sneaked in through my window
& hidden packs of cigarettes when mom was searching
All I know, I know for certain
My father was a damn good man
He lived a damn good life, he wore the same damn shirt
& hated a tie but, he lived his life
& he tought me how to live mine
From the tragedy of my first broken heart
God how I miss that girl at times
But this is my truth laid on the line
It’s all I have & if it’s not enough then it’s still been worth it
To take this trip down memory lane
Cause now I can see my father’s face, plain as day
All in all, all I wanted to say Pop, is this is your song
You are the Mickey to my Rocky
The Snowman to my Bandit
When I see you in the great big sky
I’m fulfill that promise to spread my wings & fly 

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